Robot lavatories

I have not been in Japan nearly long enough to give much credible insight into Japan and the Japanese. This is predominately my failure but Sake should also bear some responsibility. Getting to know the Japanese has been obscured by a total language barrier, Japanese is an assortment of Japanese, Kanji and Chinese characters while most Japanese I have met are far too shy to show off their English. The final reason derives from History which tends to provide a broader vista of a culture, often the most helpful aspect being the glaring omissions from a nation's myths. Infuriatingly, Japan has whitewashed its History so that if an alien visited Earth they would believe that until recently Japan had for centuries been a land stuffed with Samurais' Katanas and Geishas' Kimonos. The glorification of the Edo and early Meji period is farcical particularly because Japan's present achievements are so impressive. 

What makes Japan such a pleasant place is the sheer practical convenience of everyday life. The best examples of this are the bogs. As you enter the bathroom the lid rises to salute you and your righteous mission. Having completed the job, should you miss a continental bide - no fear, with a choice of three options; general, female and what looks like a power jet that I am far too intimidated to try. Eventually and with great reluctance you tear yourself away from your heated throne and regally wave in the general vicinity of a black button. You then wash your hands in a sink which is on top of this ingenious contraption which pumps water recycled flush. I have never been sure how hygienic this is but I place total faith in the machine. 

This meticulous view extends beyond the practical to an aesthetic level too. The most obvious demonstrations can be found in the architecture of  the traditional wooden homes I stayed in both Nikko and Tamayaka. They both relied on canvas screens to open and close space by manipulating light, though I suspect the tatami mats we slept on were the cause of the pungent cabbage odour of both houses. These beautiful wooden houses are not a new phenomenon and the ancient capital, Kyoto, has rows of these original houses. It would be false to claim that all cities in Japan have the same compact charm; Tokyo, Osaka and the southern port cities Nagasaki and Satsuma (sadly renamed Kagoshima) have all fallen victims to the grey tower blocks of prosperity. However, I would argue that the greatest aesthetic examples can be found in the cuisine. Consider the humble sushi, perfect proportions of fresh fish with one mouthful of rice and lying in between a small dap of wasabi to provide subtle heat. The glistening whiteness of the rice contrasting with the black soy all serve to emphasise the morsel on top. It is also true for the cold thin noodles underneath the steaming, thick tempura and the umami balance of  a bowl of miso soup alongside a yolky ramen. 

So why is it that we wipe our bums like apes and the batter from a chippy is always greasy at the end? How come Japan views the everyday with such analytical precision? I think there are a couple of long term reasons, the first being geographic. Though it all looks blurred from a bullet train,  Japan is a land of mountains and rivers over a conglomeration of four major islands as well as countless others. Therefore to harness the very fertile potential of the land requires ingenuity in both irrigation and land management. The landscape for Japan also provides difficulties for any government trying to exercise control, the difficulties of communication and transport naturally leading to martial rule (refer to early 20th century Japanese Empire and the domination of Shoguns for around 900 hundred years before them). Military rule promotes conformity and aside from weapon development and torture refinement does not cherish whimsical everyday inventions. Even now that Japan is a flourishing democracy it remains a highly regulated and bureaucratic society to the extent that a voice (mechanical, obviously) barks instructions of when, how and where to queue before you cross the road. 

One advantage of a highly controlled state is that it can put massive resources into education for designers but also for major companies such as the omnipotent Toyota. Counterintuitively the control exerted has promoted more rebels and a celebration of eccentricity. From the crazy fashions paraded in Harajuku to the bizarre themed cafes where waitresses dressed as maids serve you milkshake while talking to you through a high-pitch puppet, Japan has morphed into a Murakami daydream. The love of freedom has led to some of the top tourist attractions going to Nara park and Mirajima Island to see liberated dear walking free mugging ice creams from the vulnerable. The Japanese have come to celebrate the things government can do least to control, cloathes, entertainment and food. A pinnacle of this is sex, sex is everywhere. Porn lines the walls of every convenience store, even the Manga cartoons have a suspicious number of 'sexy' schoolgirls. I think that ever since the government banned showing genitalia on all pornography it has simply spilled into the cartoons shows which are shown all day and the main audience is children. It's not that I'm a prude I'm definitely all up for sexual liberation, just like Tim Farron... The sex shops sell things that look so complicated the romantic ambience must be killed by the sound of one the thousand sex toys on charge. Japan has one of the lowest birth rates in the world because they have dissected the art of sex so completely and utterly they have worked out the perfect orgasm without the inconvenience of a relationship. 

After a long digression about sex shops this seems an apt moment to talk about Zen Buddhism and Shinto, the two unofficial religions that have a presence in the vast majority of Japanese homes. You often see Shinto shrines in Buddhist temples with the characteristic white lightening bolts. This is because they share some common ideas, among the complexity of Zen Buddhism can be dragged the idea of being in the present. Shinto reinforces this idea by emphasising a reverence for the domestic. You can walk past Shinto shrines in the street and they are simple altar-like structures made from stone often with a ceramic cup holding incense. Often they can be found beside areas of stunning beauty and they emphasise a oneness with nature. At most tourist destinations there are Shinto shrines and gongs erected and an overwhelming majority still perform the ceremonial offering, bow and clap for a blessing. It is an offering of thanks a brief pause to celebrate the natural and domestic in our lives. The belief that the banal and humdrum have a great spiritual significance must provide one of the strongest reasons for Japanese precision.